Struggling with a mattress that feels too stiff? A bed that’s overly firm can lead to discomfort, back pain, and sleepless nights. If you’re constantly tossing and turning, you may be asking yourself, what does extra firm mattress mean and how can you make it more comfortable? The good news is, you don’t need to rush out and buy a new one just yet!
An extra firm mattress is designed to provide strong support, but sometimes, it can feel too rigid for a good night’s rest. If you’re wondering how to soften it, there are several simple and budget-friendly solutions. From mattress toppers to adjusting your bed frame, small changes can make a big difference. After all, an extra firm mattress is good for spinal alignment, but it should still be comfortable. Let’s explore some easy ways to make your mattress feel just right!
Key Takeaways
- A mattress topper – Adding a 2 to 4-inch memory foam, latex, or down topper can significantly soften a firm mattress.
- Break-in time matters – New mattresses often feel too firm at first; sleeping on them consistently can help soften them.
- Rotate or flip regularly – Rotating or flipping the mattress every few months helps prevent uneven firmness and maintains comfort.
- Adjust your bed base – Switching to a box spring or flexible slats can provide better support and softness.
- Increase room temperature – Warmer rooms can soften memory foam mattresses, improving overall comfort and body conformity.

Use a Mattress Topper
A mattress topper is one of the easiest ways to soften a firm mattress. These come in different materials, such as:
- Memory foam – Provides contouring support and relieves pressure points.
- Latex – Offers a softer, more responsive feel.
- Down or feather – Adds plushness and a cloud-like feel.
Choose a 2 to 4-inch topper for noticeable softness.
Break in Your Mattress
If your mattress feels too firm right out of the box, don’t worry—it’s completely normal. New mattresses often take some time to break in before they feel just right. To help speed up the process, try sleeping on it consistently for a few weeks, allowing your body weight to naturally soften the materials. Another trick is to walk gently on the surface for a few minutes each day, helping to distribute pressure evenly. You can also apply extra weight by sitting or rolling around in different areas to encourage the materials to loosen up.
If you’re looking to make a soft mattress extra firm, the process works in reverse—using a firmer mattress topper or adjusting the bed base can help. Over time, your mattress will adjust to your body, becoming more comfortable and supportive, so patience is key. Give it some time, and soon, it’ll feel just right!
Rotate or Flip the Mattress
Over time, mattresses can develop uneven wear, leading to certain areas feeling firmer than others. A simple way to prevent this and maintain overall comfort is by rotating your mattress regularly. Try turning it 180 degrees every three to six months to ensure even weight distribution. If your mattress is dual-sided, flipping it can also help, as one side may feel softer and more comfortable. These small adjustments can make a big difference, preventing excessive firmness in certain spots and helping your mattress last longer.
Just like breaking in a new mattress, proper rotation allows the materials to settle more evenly, giving you a better sleep experience. If you’ve noticed one side feeling too firm, a quick rotation might be all it takes to restore balance. Keeping up with this simple habit can extend the life of your mattress and keep it feeling supportive and comfortable for years to come.
Adjust Your Bed Base
Your bed frame or foundation plays a big role in how your mattress feels. If your mattress is too firm:
- Try switching to a box spring instead of a solid base.
- Use slats with more flexibility for better give.
- Consider an adjustable bed frame to change sleep angles for comfort.
A softer, more supportive foundation can make a noticeable difference.
Add Soft and Breathable Bedding
The right bedding can make a huge difference in how comfortable your mattress feels. If your bed is feeling too firm, layering soft and breathable materials can help add extra cushioning and warmth. Try using a thicker mattress pad to create a plush surface that balances support and comfort. High-thread-count cotton sheets not only feel softer against your skin but also improve breathability, keeping you cool throughout the night. Adding a plush comforter or even a weighted blanket can enhance coziness, making your bed feel more inviting.
While an extra firm mattress is good for for back pain relief and for providing strong support and maintaining spinal alignment, it doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice comfort. Simple changes like upgrading your bedding can soften the overall feel, helping you get a more restful night’s sleep. A well-layered bed can transform your sleeping experience, making even the firmest mattress feel more comfortable and relaxing.

Increase Room Temperature
Did you know that temperature can affect how your mattress feels? Certain materials, like memory foam, tend to firm up in cooler environments and become more flexible when warmed. If your mattress feels too firm, try slightly raising the room temperature to help soften the materials and improve comfort. A warmer environment makes memory foam more adaptable, allowing it to conform to your body more easily. Another simple trick is using a heated blanket or an electric mattress pad—this direct warmth can quickly soften the surface, making it feel more plush and inviting.
Over time, you’ll notice that your mattress responds better to your body, creating a cozier sleep experience. While firmness is important for support, you also want a bed that feels comfortable and relaxing. Adjusting the temperature in your room is an easy, low-effort way to fine-tune your mattress’s feel for a better night’s sleep.
Sleep on a Softer Pillow
If your mattress feels too firm, the right pillow can make a big difference in your overall comfort. A soft yet supportive pillow helps adjust your sleep posture, reducing pressure points and making your bed feel more inviting. Consider using a body pillow to provide extra cushioning where you need it most, whether under your knees, between your legs, or along your side.
A feather or down pillow can add softness, cradling your head and neck for a cozier feel. If you’re unsure what works best, an adjustable loft pillow lets you customize the height and firmness to match your needs. Pairing a plush pillow with a firm mattress creates a balanced sleep surface—giving you the support of a firm bed without sacrificing comfort. Small changes like upgrading your pillow can transform your sleep experience, making even the firmest mattress feel more restful and relaxing.
Use a Mattress Softening Spray
If your mattress feels too firm, a mattress softening spray can be a quick and easy way to make it more comfortable. These sprays contain fabric conditioners that help relax the fibers, creating a softer, more inviting sleep surface. They work especially well on memory foam and hybrid mattresses, which can sometimes feel stiff when brand new.
If your mattress is taking longer than expected to break in, using a softening spray can speed up the process and make it feel more flexible. Simply spray a light, even layer across the surface, let it absorb, and enjoy the difference. It’s an effortless way to add a bit of plushness without needing extra bedding or toppers. While an extra firm mattress provides great support, adding a little softness can improve your overall comfort, making it easier to relax and drift off to sleep.

Consider a Softer Mattress Option
Choosing the right mattress depends on your sleeping position, body type, and comfort preferences. An extra firm mattress might be a great option if you sleep on your back or stomach, need strong spinal support, or experience lower back pain due to a sagging mattress. The firm, even surface helps prevent excessive sinking, keeping your spine aligned throughout the night.
However, if you’re a side sleeper, suffer from joint or hip pain, or simply prefer a bit more cushioning, a firm or medium-firm mattress may be a better choice. These options still provide support but with added contouring for pressure relief.
If you’re unsure which firmness level is best, consider choosing a mattress with a trial period. This allows you to test its comfort and support in your own home, ensuring you make the best decision for a restful, pain-free sleep.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve tried everything and your mattress still feels too firm, it might not be the right fit for your body. Finding the right balance of support and comfort is essential for a good night’s sleep. Before making a decision, it’s helpful to understand the difference between firm and extra firm mattress options.
A firm mattress offers solid support with slight cushioning, while an extra firm mattress provides a much stiffer feel with minimal give. If your current bed is too rigid, consider switching to a medium-firm or plush option for more comfort.
A hybrid mattress with softer top layers and supportive coils can also provide a nice balance. If you recently purchased a new bed, check if there’s a trial period to exchange it. Understanding the difference between firm and ultra firm mattresses is crucial—sometimes, a slight adjustment in firmness can make all the difference in your sleep quality.